THE LORD OF THE (Toe)RINGS

 

Chapter Four: A Shortcut to Pixy Sticks

 

Well, as you know, Frodo, Teegs, and Hika were on their way to Rivendell with the Toe Ring. They had walked and walked and talked and talked, and even met some uber-spiffy elves and some Self-insertions! Trippy!

 

Frodo: Wait! I think I see something!

 

They all ducked behind a tree, just in time to see a SELF-INSERTION!

 

Podima: (from nowhere in particular) BUM BUM BUM BUM!

 

Frodo: Podima? Are you here?

 

Hika: No, he's just our soundtrack.

 

Teegs: He needs some new material...

 

Frodo: -.- Well, I'm not taking any chances. We are STAYING. OFF. THE. ROAD!

 

Teegs and Hika: Whyyy?

 

Frodo: Because we're going to take a shortcut.

 

And take a shortcut they did. They soon found themselves near a small farm. Frodo gulped.

 

Frodo: Um... okay, we'll go this way!

 

He pointed in an opposite direction.

 

Hika: But Frodo! That's Farmer Maggot's farm! HE MAKES PIXY STICKS!

 

Teegs: ^_^ YAY!

 

Frodo: I know, I know, but I'm scared of his dogs, and I'm scared of the thought of you with pixy sticks.

 

Hika: Too late! We're going.

 

So they dragged Frodo up to the small farmhouse, where they were greeted by Farmer Maggot and his growling dogs.

 

Dogs: *rather unenthusiastically* Gr.

 

Farmer Maggot: Frodo Baggins? Ah, I remember when you tried to steal my pixy sticks.

 

Frodo: Steal? Pixy sticks? Me? NEVER!

 

Farmer Maggot: ...you didn't steal my pixy sticks?

 

Frodo: No, I was too scared of your dogs...

 

Hika: *to Teegs* Maybe they're around the back... he seemed to have moved them...

 

Farmer Maggot: Well, come on in! The name of Baggins... that reminds me of something...

 

They followed Farmer Maggot into his house, enticed

 

[Teegs: Oo. Another big word.]

 

by the smell of dextrose sugar.

 

[Teegs: LOTS of big words.]

 

Farmer Maggot: This is my wife. Her name is Mrs. Maggot.

 

All: *blink blink* Uhh...

 

Farmer Maggot: Anyways, the name of Baggins reminded me of something rather odd. Someone came up to my door the day before looking for you Frodo. He was wearing all black, and he looked rather creepy and ugly.

 

Frodo, Hika, and Teegs looked at each other.

 

Hika: Oo! Big scary ugly thing!

 

Teegs: It sounds like Brian.

 

Frodo: What did they say?

 

Farmer Maggot: They said they'd give me money if I told them where you were. Sadly, I didn't, so I'm still flat broke. But we're going to give you pixy sticks anyways!

 

Mrs. Maggot handed them a large basket full of pixy sticks.

 

Mrs. Maggot: Make them last, now.

 

Teegs: Oh, WE will...

 

Farmer Maggot: So where are you going?

 

Frodo: Um...

 

Hika: *sings* We're off to see the wizard...

 

Teegs: Actually, we're heading toward DG's cave. Could you give us a ride?

 

Farmer Maggot: I don't have that much time either, but sure!

 

They hopped into a small cart that was conveniently already set up for them. Hika held the basket of pixy sticks protectively.

 

Farmer Maggot: It's a bit dark and foggy out, but we'll hear anything before we meet it tonight.

 

And they're off! Of course, they didn't race, because it was only one small pony with a cart. But Hika did poke Frodo once or twice...

 

Frodo: More like a couple of hundred!

 

They hadn't gone very far when they heard the clip-clop sound of hooves. They all looked at each other in fear, but before they knew it...

 

Voice: Hey! Hika? Teegs? Is that you?

 

Hika: HI DG!

 

Frodo: Oh no...

 

Teegs: PARTAY!!!

 

DG: I've come to bring you to my cave. It's much warmer there. That and you were going there anyways.

 

Hika: It's so convenient!

 

Teegs: Convenience is an author's best friend.

 

GJT: YAY! ^_^

 

Frodo: Help... me...

 

But Farmer Maggot was already far, far away.

 

END OF CHAPTER FOUR.