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Chapter Nine : At the Sign of the Nancing Pony
Finally, Frodo and the GJT found their way to the village of Bree. Bree was a really uber-spiffy place, where not only big folk lived, but also hobbits and psychotic fangirls. It was perfect for the travelers.
Frodo: Now, before we go in, remember: the name of Baggins is NOT to be mentioned. If you call me anything, call me Mr. Underhill.
DG: Okay, Bob!
Teegs: Okie dokie, HEEERRMY.
Hika: Certainly, LoRENzo.
Frodo: ...whatever.
After a small argument with the gate keeper about the Wizard of Oz, they headed towards the pub, the Nancing Pony. YAY! IT NANCES! The innkeeper, Butterbeer... er... ButterBUR, greeted them.
Butterbur: Hoya, folks! What brings you to Bree?
GJT: HI BUTTERBEER!
Butterbur: ButterBUR.
GJT: HI BUTTERBEER!
Butterbur: BUTTERBUR!
Frodo: It's no use arguing with them. I'd give up.
Butterbur: >_> Hiss.
Frodo: o_o; Erm, carry on.
GJT: HI BUTTERBEER!
Three hours later, the GJT finally won.
Butterbeer: >_> I don't like this name.
Teegs: TOUGH!
Butterbeer: Anyways, what're yours?
Hika: I'M AKIH!
Teegs: I'M SGEET!
DG: I'm... GD... no, no. I'm...
Hika: DARKGAOTMOMNANFE!
DG: *explodes*
Frodo: YES!!
Teegs: She'll be back.
Frodo: -_-;;
Butterbeer: What about you, little master?
Frodo: I'm... uh... Bob.
Teegs: HEEEEEERRRMY!
Hika: LoRENzo!
Frodo: -_-;;
Butterbeer: Alright, Mr. Bob HEEEEEERRRMY LoRENzo. We have some nice hobbit-sized rooms for you. But first, give me some money and then go waste more on beer.
And so, they went to the bar. DG rezzed and went out for a walk. Hika snorted pixy sticks up her nose. Frodo tried to hide himself. Teegs got extraordinarily drunk on Sierra Mist and began telling stories to Severus Snape.
Teegs: So anyways, Bilbo was all like, "Like, I don't know, how, like, to like, add, like, fractions, like," and then...
Snape: @_@ KILL ME NOW.
Teegs: And then he...
Just about when she was about to tell Snape about the Ring, a MYSTERIOUS CLOAKED FIGURE whispered into Frodo's ear.
MYSTERIOUS CLOAKED FIGURE: I'd stop your little friend, if I were you.
Frodo: She's not my fri...
MYSTERIOUS CLOAKED FIGURE: She's about to tell something you won't like...
Frodo: ...*quickly looks at Teegs*
Teegs: Oh, oh, and Frodo wets –
Frodo: O_O;;
Frodo quickly jumped on the table.
Frodo: Hello, everybody!
Everybody looked at him. Teegs was looking quite put out to have been interrupted, but she listened anyways. Frodo soon realized that all eyes were on him, and began to get really nervous.
Frodo: Um.. I'd... just... um... like to say... how... happy I was that y'all came down to see me!
Random Person: *cough*RIPOFF!*cough*
Random Person: SING A SONG!
Frodo: But I don't want to!
Hika: SING A SONG!
Teegs: Or else I'll tell everyone your DEEPEST, DARKEST SECRET!
So, Frodo began singing the first song that came to mind.
Sometime's I'm right
Sometime's I'm wrong
But he doesn't care
He'll String along
He loves me so
That funny honey of mine
Hika: *starry eyes* For me?
Frodo: NO. >_>
Sometime's I'm down
Sometime's I'm up
But he follows 'round
Like some droopy-eyed pup
He love me so
That sunny honey of mine
He ain't no sheik
That's no great physique
Lord knows, he ain't got the smarts
Oh, but look at that soul
I tell you, the whole
Is a whole lot greater than
The sum of his parts
And if you knew him like me
I know you'd agree
What if the world
Slandered my name?
Why, he'd be right there
Taking the blame
He loves me so
And it all suits me fine
That funny, sunny, honey
Hubby of mine
Random Person:
*snort* I knew he was slash-flavored.
Although the performance was absolutely wonderful, all people did was look at him funny.
Snape: What were you saying, Sgeet?
Teegs: Oh, yeah, Frodo wets the bed.
Frodo: I DO NOT! I WAS JUST A LITTLE HOBBIT! IT WAS NOT MY FAULT!
Everyone had stopped listening to Frodo though, and just laughed at him.
Frodo: >_< Sometimes I wish I could just disappear.
Hika: You can! =D Remember, you have the Ring!
Frodo: ...good idea!
Frodo slipped the Ring on his finger and... just disappeared!
Everyone: *gasp*
Teegs: *drink*
Hika: *poke* I can still see you.
Frodo: No you can't!
Hika: *poke* Yes I can.
Frodo: No you can't.
Hika: *poke* Yes I can.
Frodo: -_- I give up.
He made his way to the corner of the bar, sat down and took off the Ring.
Hika: *poke* Yes I can.
Frodo: STOP IT!
Hika: *poke* Yes I can.
Frodo: -_-;
The MYSTERIOUS CLOAKED FIGURE appeared beside Frodo again.
MYSTERIOUS CLOAKED FIGURE: I would like to have a word with you before you leave, Mr. Baggins.
Frodo: ...what are you talking about?! My name's uh... um... Bob.
Teegs: HEEEEEEERRRMY!
Hika: LoRENzo!
MYSTERIOUS CLOAKED FIGURE: Oh, I know who the hell you are. And I know what you have.
Frodo: I don't have anything!
Hika: Except the uber-spiffy-absolutley-totally-secret-never-tell-anyone-about-it One Ring!
Frodo: >_< JFKDLASJKFDLS!
MYSTERIOUS CLOAKED FIGURE: -_-; I don't even know how you made it this far with THEM. Just come by my room later, okay?
Frodo: You aren't a fangirl, are you?
MYSTERIOUS CLOAKED FIGURE: @_@ ONLY OF LEGOLAS.
Teegs and Hika: *shudder* Ewww. You like daddy.
MYSTERIOUS CLOAKED FIGURE: ...
Hika: Mary Sues.
MYSTERIOUS CLOAKED FIGURE: ...ah.
So the MYSTERIOUS CLOAKED FIGURE left them alone and went back to his/her/its room, leaving Frodo with Hika and Teegs.
Frodo: ...forget this. We're going NOW.